30 Dec Dealer Flogging Addendum Edition
West Palm Beach Dealers,
As you know, our lovely little festival is no longer little.
We’ve grown like a Florida ficus on steroids — more dealers, more buildings, more customers, more opportunities… and more chaos if we don’t get organized.
So this year, like responsible adults with clipboards, we’re introducing a new booth support dispatch system for setup.
🚨 New Golden Rule (engrave this in bronze if necessary):
If you are missing tables, walls, showcases, power, carpeting, your will to live, etc…
👉 You MUST text or call: 561-410-2560
This number is now the ONLY setup request channel.
Do NOT approach Jon.
Do NOT approach Janie.
Do NOT approach Alfredo.
Do NOT flag down random humans who look helpful.
Do NOT send carrier pigeons.
Do NOT whisper into the wind and hope.
Only. Dispatch. Number.
Our dispatch person will be monitoring the line during setup/show hours and will send staff in a first-come-first-served order. Like a deli ticket system, but for tables instead of pastrami.
📝 Your message MUST include:
Name + Booth Number + What You Need
Example messages:
“Susan A143 — missing showcase & possibly sanity.”
“Bob W210 — 1 table, 2 walls, and divine intervention.”
Incorrect format may result in
stern looks, public shaming, and light medieval torture.
(We’re thinking stocks near Gate 8. Very tasteful.)
❗ IMPORTANT NEW PARTS — Read or Perish
🔹 Booth assignments & final setup instructions will be sent TOMORROW.
Do not panic. Do not refresh inbox 438 times.
Trust us — they are coming.
🔹 Do NOT text requests before you arrive at the show.
If you text early asking for walls/tables/chandeliers/a throne, the system will assume you seek punishment and we will select a historically appropriate medieval corrective action.
(Options include flogging, trebuchet launch, or banishment to Building 10 without coffee.)
Only send requests after you are physically onsite and see your booth.
Why this matters (besides our desire to avoid jail time)
- This makes setup FASTER for everyone.
- No more lost requests.
- No more “I told a guy and I think he forgot.”
- Staff gets tasks in order — not via psychic vibes.
- It helps us scale the show even BIGGER (yes, bigger).
Help us make setup smooth, efficient, and at least 73% less chaotic.
We love you. Truly.
Now help us help you — and help us avoid medieval sentencing paperwork.
Text ONLY once onsite: 561-410-2560
New Year’s Resolution: fewer floggings, more selling.
See you soon,
Jon & The WPB Antiques Crew
(Lords of Dispatch, Protectors of Tables, Banishers of Early Texters)